We are born with it!
Have you ever heard a baby cry? Have you ever seen a toddler fall down again and again, yet continue to get back up and take another shot at walking? In both cases, the determination and the self confidence to succeed are unshakeable. Why? Because we are built that way. As human beings, we are tenacious once we set our minds to something. That can work for or against us, depending on the situation. When it works for us, it allows us to overcome the obstacles that inevitably come in between us and our goal. When it works against us, we allow ourselves to be stubborn and short sighted.
When we’re babies, it’s simple. If we’re hungry, we cry. If we don’t, we risk our very survival. As we get older it becomes more complicated. We start to attain self-awareness. We notice what other people say and think. We don’t want to be scolded, disliked or ostracized. We tailor our thoughts and behaviors to please others, sometimes putting their opinions first. And that’s healthy! We can’t go around as selfish creatures, serving only ourselves. We must work together with our families and society to live harmoniously. However, there is a limit to considering others. When it comes to our personal dreams, our inner voice of truth, we need to listen and make decisions that we think are best. The trick is to know when to follow and when to exercise our willpower.
Self reflection and meditation can be helpful as you decide when to stand up for what you believe in and when to be flexible and cooperative. Helping your parents with something they ask you to do may carry less consequences than whether to pursue your secret passion for pottery when your family thinks it’s a waste of time because they expect you to go to law school like the rest of them. If you befriend a girl at school that your circle of pals make fun of, you may lose your current friends, but you did what was right, and realize you really don’t want friends like that anyway. Whenever there seems to be a conflict brewing inside you, that may be sign that you need to sit quietly and think it over. Perhaps close your eyes and relax, letting thoughts and feelings rise to the surface without distraction. Writing down aspects the dilemma may be beneficial.
Whenever someone is trying to influence what you do and say, that can challenge your self confidence. It can also take a blow if you are put down and criticized for your beliefs and actions. If it’s strong enough, and done repeatedly it can be abusive, so be careful that you are being treated with respect. If you’re being abused verbally or otherwise, please seek out a school counselor or other trusted adult.
Always remember you came into this world bound and determined to achieve whatever you want. If you have doubts, examine them and decide if they are there to help you make a course correction, or if they come from a negative source either from the past or present. Your inner wisdom is a clear guide for you at all times. If you eliminate all the distractions and devices and take a moment to reflect, you will gain insight and your self confidence will flourish, as it is supported by your clear, well thought decision on how you’re moving forward to be your best and highest you!